CORPORATE LESSON # 1
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is
finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After
a few seconds of arguing over which
one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives
up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs
downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next
door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll
give you $ 800 just to drop that towel that you have
on". After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her
towel and stands naked in front of Bob. Bob has a
close look at her for a few seconds, hands over $800
and quietly leaves. Confused, but excited about her
good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and
goes upstairs.
When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks
from the shower "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next
door neighbour," she replies. "Great," the husband
says, "did he say anything about the $! 800 he owes
me?"
MORAL OF THE STORY: Share critical credit information
with your stakeholders to prevent avoidable exposure!
CORPORATE LESSON # 2A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side
of the road, he stopped and offered her a lift which
she gladly accepted. She got in and crossed her legs,
forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg.
The priest had a look and nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand
up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately
said, "Father, remember psalm 9?" The priest was
flustered and apologised profusely. He forced himself
to remove his hand. However,
he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg.
Further on, while changing gear, he let his hand slide
up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father,
remember psalm 129?" Once again
the priest apologised. "Sorry sister, but the mind is
weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun got out, gave
him a meaningful glance and went on her way. On his
arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a
bible and looked up psalm 9. It Said, "Go forth and
seek; further up, you will find glory."
MORAL OF THE STORY: Always be well informed in your
job; or, you might miss great opportunities!
CORPORATE LESSON # 3A young executive was leaving the office at 6 PM
when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder
with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the
CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document
and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing
work?" Certainly, Sir"said the young executive. He
turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed
the start button. "Excellent, excellent!"
said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the
machine. "I just need one copy."
MORAL OF THE STORY: Never, never assume that your BOSS
knows everything.
CORPORATE LESSON # 4There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an
American and a French, who found this small genie
bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appears.
Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the
bottle, he said, "Next to you! all are 4 swimming
pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run
towards the pool and jump, you shout What you want the
pool of water to become, then your wish will come
true." The French wanted to start. He ran towards the
pool, jumped and shouted WINE". The pool immediately
changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so
happy swimming and drinking from the pool. Next is the Russian's turn,
he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool
of vodka. The American was next and he jumped and
shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer
pool. The last is the German. He was running
towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana
peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted,
"SHIT!!!!!!!........."
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Mind your language, you never know what it will land
you in.
CORPORATE LESSON #5A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are
on their way to a meeting. On their way through a
park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the
lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says,"Normally,
one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I
will allow one wish each" So the eager senior manager
shouted, I want the first wish. I want to be in the
Bahamas ,on a fast boat and have no worries. "Pfufffff,
and he was
gone. Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and
shouted " I want to be in Florida with beautiful
girls, plenty of food and cocktails. "Pfufffff, and
he was also gone. The boss calmly said, " I want these
two idiots back in the office after
lunch ". Moral of the story is : "Always allow the
bosses to speak first"
CORPORATE LESSON #6A little mouse living on a farm was looking
through a crack in the wall one day and
saw the farmer and his wife opening a
package. The mouse was intrigued by what
food the package may contain. He was aghast
to discover that it was a mouse trap.
The mouse ran to the farmyard warning
everyone "there is a mouse trap in the
house, there is a mouse trap in the house."
The chicken raised his head and said "Mr.
Mouse, I can tell you this trap is a grave
concern to you, but it has no consequence
to me and I cannot be bothered with it."
The mouse turned to the pig "I am so very
sorry Mr. Mouse, but the trap is no concern
of mine either."
The mouse then turned to the bull,
"sounds like you have a problem Mr. Mouse,
but not one that concerns me."
The mouse returned to the house, head
down and dejected that no one would help
him or was concerned about his dilemma.
He knew he had to face the trap on his own.
That night the sound of a trap catching
its prey was heard throughout the house.
The farmer's wife rushed to see what was
caught. In the darkness she could not see
that it was a venomous snake who's tail the
trap had caught.
The snake bit the farmers wife.
The wife caught a bad fever and the
farmer knew the best way to treat a fever
was with chicken soup. The farmer took
his hatchet to the farmyard to get the
soups main ingredient.
The wife got sicker and friends and
neighbors came by to take turns sitting
with her round the clock. The farmer
knew he had to feed them, so he butchered
the pig. The farmer wife did not get
better, in fact she died and so many
friends and family came to her funeral
that the farmer had to slaughter the bull
to feed all of them.
Moral of the Story: "So the next time we
hear that one of our teammates is facing a
problem and think it does not concern or
effect us, let us remember that when anyone
of us is in trouble, we are all at risk. "
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