Holi Safety Tips

Here are a few tips and suggestion to make your holi safe and joyous

• Play safe. Don't get to boisterous and do not let others to be rude on you.
• The best option would be to play with natural home made colours. Your skin and hair will feel tampered with the use of skin friendly natural products.
• If natural colours are not possible, then ensure a better quality of colours. Buy colours from a reputed shop or vendor.
• Use more of red or pink colours which looks good and can easily taken off. Gaudy purple, green, yellow, orange have more harmful chemicals in them and should be avoided.
• Make sure that your face is well creamed before and after the play.
• Apply thick coating of paint on your nails- both in fingers and toes so that they remain protected.
• Oil your hair well, so that colour doesn't stick on your hair and can be washed off easily later.
• Cover your hair. Make use of hat or caps to protect your hair from being coloured with hard-to-rinse dyes.
• Make sure that powder or any other product does not get inside your eyes. Eyes are extremely vulnerable on Holi because of their strategic place in body and also because of the use of harmful chemicals in colors these days. Please ensure that your eyes remain protected at all times. Use asunglass to protect your eyes from a misfire of colour filled darts or water jets.
• Use dental caps to save your teeth from any unwanted stains.
• Put on your worst clothes so that you won't have to take on the hassles of an immediate washing.
• Rags like tattered denims and bright shades like black, blue, green, purple are highly recommended.
• Try to save yourself off from all possible attacks on the face. In case your such attempts fail, keep your eyes and lips tightly shut if you are attacked on your face.
• If possible avoid going outside your home, atleast for the peak hours of celebration. The premises of your home ensure that you are safe from pouncing hooligans, even friends who can be a little rough on the day.
• When traveling keep the car windows thoroughly shut, even if you don't have an AC car. Do not bump into the frenzied group of mob if you take to streets. Better you cross the road to the sidewalk across. Or, simply stay at a safe distance.
• Do not use permanent dyes. If someone has applied it on you, do not rub the face with soap immediately in order to get rid off it, especially when it is wet. Instead, use good quality cleansing milk for removal. It's better than using soap, which will dry up your skin.
• Rotten eggs when thrown on your head, flying missiles from locality buildings…are still not too bad, will be smelly yet is a good conditioner for your hair. But tar, shit, Mobil, stones and all the rubbish that you can be hit with is not. Avoid being a prey to hooligans.
• Remember you also have police on your side and if any untoward revelers misbehave, you can make your complaint. Mark out the locality, building and if possible the person.
• Take a bath much later after the entire Holi celebration is over. Taking frequent baths, washing the face again and again, will ruin your skin. You will also lose hair, for too much soap/shampoo has a drying effect.
• If you are prone to skin allergies, avoid playing with gulal altogether. Going to a dermatologist (skin specialist) serves no purpose, after the damage is done.
• Avoid running on jumping on wet floors, so that you don't slip and injure yourself. Bones are specially vulnerable on this day.
• Avoid over indulgence in bhang, drinks or food... so that you don't repent later.
• Do not drive if you are high on alcohol or bhang.
• Keep handy pain killers, anti-oxidants, anti-allergic tablets if all the above tips have been disregarded.

Joy of Love

Love Music Freedom

Love You Sweet Heart

The Sweet Taste Of Your Love

The sweet taste of love
Still lingers in my mind
A succulent tasty morsel
A treasure worth its find


A wet and juicy fruit
That fills my mouth with joy
Like candy to a baby
An edible exotic toy


With nectar sweet as honey
A syrup of flowing silk
Like a bubbly kind of lava
As smooth as warm clear milk


It breathes with scented oils
Like a flower in the mist
And blossoms when caressed
By the feel of a lover's kiss

A dessert at its very best
When embraced with lots of love
I know I'll never get enough
Of this treat I'm thinking of
....................................................

Fragments of Love

“Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit.”

“To be your friend was all I ever wanted; to be your lover was all I ever dreamed.”
~ I love her but can’t have her

“Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself. To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving.”


“A boy is a magical creature,
you can lock him out of your workshop,
but you can’t lock him out of your heart.
You can get him out of your study,
but you can’t get him out of your mind.”

Always For You

Together Our Love Lives

"Koi Deewana kahta hai, Koi Pagal samajhta hai,
Magar 'Dharati' ki bechaini ko Bas 'Badal' samajhta hai...
Main tujhse door kaisa hoon, Tu mujhse door kaisi hai,
Ye mera dil samajhta hai, Ya tera dil samajhta hai...

Mohabbat ek 'Ahsaason' ki Pawan si kahani hai,
Kabhi 'Kabira' deewana tha, Kabhi 'Meera' deewani hai...
Yahan sab log kahte hain, Meri aankhon mein 'aansu' hain,
Jo tu samajhe to 'Moti' hai, Jo na samajhe to 'Paani' hai..."

Samander Peer Ka Aander Hai Lekin Ro Nahi Sakta
Ye Aansu Pyaar Ka Moti Hain Isko Kho Nahi Sakta
Meri Chahat Ko Dulhan Tu Bana Lena Magar Sun Le
Jo Mera Ho Nahi Paya Wo Tera Ho Nahi Sakta...

Bhamar Koi Kumudani Par Machal Baitha To Hungama
Hamare Dil Mein Koi Khawab Pal Baitha To Hungama
Aabhi Tak Doob Kar Sunte The Sab Kissa Mohhabat Ka
Main Kisse Ko Haqiqat Mein Badal Baitha To Hungama

Sweet Little Baby

Hello,

sweet little baby growing inside
I guess we're both along for the ride.
I'm excited...I'm nervous...I'm filled with joy!
I can't help but wonder if you're a girl or a boy.
It's too soon to tell, which is just as well
It doesn't matter to me whatever you'll be.
Still, I catch myself... wishing I knew
what will you wear, pink or blue?
I am ready for you, either way
I find myself dreaming what we will play.
Tea parties for a girl, Sailboats for a boy
as soon as I know, I'll buy you a toy.
I can't wait to tell, everyone I know
the wonderful news... should I wait 'til I show?
Soon you'll see how much I care
there's so much to do, so much to share
But first I must thank God above
for sending you, for me...to love!

Natural Parenting

Nothing can be more nerve racking for a parent than the wail of a baby who can’t be comforted. You can lose alot of sleep and at some points come close to losing your sanity. While everyone has their own ideas for raising children one of the best things you can do for your baby is calm them naturally. Here is some information to help you finally calm your baby.
Many parents and doctors will tell you to just leave your baby alone when they are crying. The philosophy is that if no one comes to help the baby, they will learn to “self soothe”. The truth is small babies don’t have the emotional capabilities to self soothe. Yes, the baby will stop crying eventually, but only because it feels it has been abandoned and has given up on seeking help. A baby who isn’t comforted when they cry believes their parents no longer care. This can destroy the parental bond and the child’s self esteem. Letting a baby “cry it out” may not always be the best option.

On the other hand, your psychological health matters too. There’s bound to be the occasional time that you can’t take it anymore and no one is around to help you. If you feel you’ve reached your breaking point, it’s all right to take a break from your child for a few minutes while you regroup. If your child knows you’re coming back eventually, they will be less likely to feel abandoned.

The best way to learn to soothe your crying baby is to get to know them. Most of the time, the child is crying because something is wrong; they’re hungry, tired, grumpy, sick, bored, or have one of a multitude of other needs, and every one of these problems has a different cry. If you spend time with your baby and listen carefully, you should be able to distinguish one cry from another. You should for other cues such as facial expressions and body language. The sooner you learn to interpret your child’s crying, the sooner you’ll be able to satisfy their needs.

Sometimes, babies don’t really have anything wrong with them and are just plain upset. Here are a few suggestions for calming a fussy baby:

* Play music. Many babies may also be soother by you singing to them or to simple white noise.

* Use Lavender. It is known to have natural calming properties; you could put it in their bath, bedroom, laundry, or almost anywhere that the soothing vapors will be able to comfort them.

* Use the 5 S’s. Swaddling, laying the baby on its Side or Stomach (supervised), Shhing, Swinging them in a mechanical swing or your arms, and offering a breast or pacifier to Suck on will trigger the baby’s natural calming reflex and help them relax.

* Distract them. Try to offer him his favorite toy or make quiet baby talk. You may be able to get him to forget he was upset in the first place.

* Give your baby a massage. A massage can be just as relaxing for your baby as it is for you. Be very gentle with your touch.

If you’ve tried these and other remedies, but your baby still won’t stop crying, you should take them to the pediatrician, just in case. They may have something simple (but annoying), like colic, but it’s best to be sure that it’s not something more serious.

What is Love...

"Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing"

Adhuri baatein..

munni

"MUNNI" 7 bhai behno me sabse choti or dulari behan,lekin na jane kisne is nanhi pari ki khushiyo par nazar laga di,mehaz 11 saal ki umar me maa ke cancer ki bimari ki wajah se gujar jane ke baad munni ghar me bhai behno ke bich bhi akela pan mehsus karne lagi,maa ki bimaari ne itne kam umar me he munni ko jhagjhol kar rakh diya tha,din raat maa ko cancer ke karan hone wale dard se tadapta dekh munni mann he mann roti,lekin khud jub maa ke saamne hoti to badi he majbuti se khadi rehti,jese ki is bachchi ko maa ke bimaar hone se koi pareshani ka samna he na karna pad raha ho,aakhir doctors kihazar dawaiyan bhi maa ko na bacha saki or maa ka dehaant november me ho he gaya,wo chatt parv ka pehla din tha,ye parv munni ke jivan me ek lambe samay tak chalne wala andhakar le kar aaya tha,jisse ki shayad wo bhi anbhigg nahi thi,itni kam umar me bhi sub kuch samajhne ki kshamta aa gai thi munni me ,lekin maa ke na hone se jiwan me ek khalipan sa aa gaya tha,dekhte he dekhte saal gujarte gaye,do badi behne to pehle se he vyaahta thi ab tishri behan subhadra ka bhi vivaah ho gaya,mehaz 13 varsh ki umar me he munni ke upar pure ghar ka bojh aa gaya,phool si bachchi har roj ghar ka sara kaam karke,,3 bhaiyon or pita ke liye khana banati or fir khud school ke liye nikal jaati,pita ke paas dhan ki kami ko jante hue usne kabhi pita se paddhai ke liye jyada paise nahi mange,sarkaari girl school me padhtne wali bachchi ko jub class-teacher ne mann laga kar paddhai karte dekha to bine fees ke tution padhane ke liye khud he raji ho gai,lekin munni ki kismat ko to jese kuch or he manjur tha,is nanhi si jaan se shayad kismat ko bhi jalan hone lagi thi,munni ghar to gai apni khushi batane,ki teacher use bina fees ke tution padhana chahti hai, lekin waha pehle se he munni ke kismat ko kisi alag he disha me moda ja raha tha,badi behan sharda garvwati thi,is karan wo pita ke ghar chali aai,lekin ghar par garvwati stri ki sewa ke liye koi nai tha,isi liye ab iska pahad bhi munni par he tuta,vikrit mansiktaao se bhare pariwar walo ne nanhi si bachchi ke liye ek tanasaahi halafnaame jesa farman suna dala, ab munni ka school jana band karwa diya gaya, jis bachchi ne paddh likh kar aage baddhne ke sapne dekhe the,uske sapne khud badi behan ne apne swarth ke liye yeh keh kar tod daal,ki "kya kregi paddh kar?" jis badi behan ke aane se munni khushi se phule na sama rahi thi uski he shewa krne ke liye ab munni ka school jana band karwaya ja raha tha,ab wo karti to kya karti,maa to is duniya me thi nahi,or pita se juban ladane ki wo soch bhi nahi sakti thi,bas mann he mann ro bilak kar apni paddhai ko behan or pariwar ke liye kurban karr gai,saatvi kakcha ki is honhar bachchi ke sapne jese kachche mitti ke ghade ki tarah tod kar pani me bahaye ja rahe the,angreji ki taalim lene ke sapne dekhne wali munni ko school se he dur kiya ja raha tha,use asiksha ke andhakar ke or jaan bujh kar dhakela ja raha tha,or dukh to is baat ka tha ki ye sub karne wale koi or nahi,balki munni ke apne the,wo apne jinhe samaaz pariwar kehta hai,bhai behan or pita kehta hai.na chaah kar bhi munni ko school chhodna pada,dushre bachche jub school jaate tub munni ghar ka kaam karti,or jub dushre bachche khelte tub wo behan ke 3 bachcho ko sambhalti.


lekin shayad takdir ko yahi manjur tha,samay bita or sharda ne ek ladke ko janam diya, ab tak to munni ko jese kaam karne ki mechine me tabdil kar diya tha subne,din bhar bichari bachchi ghar ke kaam karti rehti or bache hue samay me behan ke bachcho ko sambhalti

Regular Massage Eases Chronic Headache

Chronic headaches can be more than a sore point with people who suffer from it. You can try a number of remedies, some may give you relief and some may just aggravate it. Though a lot people indulge in massage the scalp during headaches, they fail to understand the importance and various techniques that can really sooth the ache.

To give you a few points, if anyone suffers from a migraine, use the pads of your fingers to knead the temples along the hairline. Rotate your fingers by keeping a constant gentle pressure by your finger pads. A headache can occur in different parts of the head. Unlike a migraine which occurs mostly on the sides of the head and gradually gives the feeling of a growing all over explosion, a headache maybe restricted to one side or just the crown or the back of the scalp.

Acupuncture is one of the popular remedies. For a headache at the back of the head make sure you rub for a while or count the kneading along the scalp and then switch to kneading your little finger. It is a well known fact that targeting the right acupuncture points can make the headache vanish.

In case you find gentle pinching on your temples as a relief by all means do it. Headache can also extend to other parts like below to your neck and shoulders. Knead or hold a hot water bag to these regions. Tension knotted muscles often loosen up with the heat.

A lot of doctors or therapists will also advice that drinking excessive juice and water can also ease your headache and make your massage more effective. It is not necessary that you do a self massage. You can always ask a member of your family to do it for you.

If you have a headache as a result of an accident or even a chronic case, try to keep your head in one position rather than shaking it. Massage the back of your neck or if ice cubes are effective hold then in a towel against your temples or scalp.

The notion of a headache is that it is restricted to the head. Well, a lot of times your neck can be responsible for the headache. Avoid looking in to bright light as it aggravates the headache. Do not use random techniques or else you may end up paying for it.

Massage is not everyone’s forte. Hence, if you feel the need for a professional masseuse, by all means allow yourself the luxury. A massage may even extend in to sleep as you might drift off. The call on massage to ease of headache is not hundred percent but it definitely reduces the ache.

Oil included in the massage can also be an ingredient that soothes the senses with its smell. Choose your favorite essence and use a few drops on your when massaging.

Healthy Tips for Your 8th Month in Pregnancy

A Healthy Pregnancy Means a Healthy Baby

By the eighth month of pregnancy, most woman are feeling uncomfortable, impatient and a little anxious. Birth is only a handful of weeks away. During this month, your baby will become more sensitive to light and sound, and you should be feeling strong movements by this point. You will continue to gain about a pound a week, and by now you will be feeling the aches, pains and fatigue associated with late pregnancy. A healthy lifestyle during your eighth month of pregnancy can help relieve some of these complaints, and is important to delivering a healthy baby.

Healthy Eating for Two

1. During your eighth month of pregnancy, your appetite will probably increase. You still need only an extra 300 calories a day, and it can be easy to eat too much. Eat small, nutritious meals often. Extra fruits and vegetables can reduce constipation and reduce your chances of developing hemorrhoids. Dairy, carbohydrates and protein are essential parts of your diet. Remember to take your prenatal vitamin, and follow the dietary guidelines set by your doctor.

Stay Active

2. Late pregnancy fatigue could stop you from getting exercise, but staying active is essential to a healthy eighth month of pregnancy. There are plenty of exercises that you can do, even this far along. Swimming is one of the best options, along with walking, stretching and yoga. All of these exercises can relieve aches and pains and help your baby to position correctly for delivery. Avoid actions that require you to move quickly, jump up and down, lie flat on your back or make you feel uncomfortable.

Pay Attention to Your Body

3. Your body can be the most important source of information you have about your pregnancy. Pay attention the signals it gives you. If you are tired, rest. If you are hungry, find a healthy snack. If you are experiencing contractions, even if you think they are Braxton-Hicks, more than four times and hour, if you notice any bleeding, swelling or if something just feels off, call your doctor or head to the nearest emergency room.
   You should also be monitoring your baby's movements for an hour a day. This is called a kick count. During the span of one hour, you should be able to count around 10 movements. Even if you are not doing actual kick counts, you should still be aware of how often your baby moves. If you stop feeling movement, or if the movements are happening a lot less frequently than normal, call your doctor or head to the closest hospital.

Chocolates Can Reduce The Risk Of Premature Delivery (Preeclampsia)

Wonder why pregnant women are encouraged to eat chocolate? Preeclampsia or giving birth prematurely is a risk pregnant women are ask to be beware of. Giving birth pre-maturely can be risk to the baby as the baby has not developed fully and may not be ready to come out. Weakness in the mother-to-be can be fatal for the baby and hence, eating chocolate up to thrice a week is encouraged by doctors to avoid Preeclampsia.

Preeclampsia is a condition where the pregnant lady’s blood pressure rises and gives way to blockage of nutrients and lack of proper oxygen to the baby. Risk perceived of the same earlier will result in the doctor prescribing early admit to the hospital or continual bed rest to relieve the stress on the baby. A prematurely born baby has very less chances of surviving and hence, medication is immediately given to reduce the blood pressure of the mommy-to-be.

Research done by the Yale University which entailed interviewing pregnant women of their diet habits showed that women who indulged in chocolate more did not see Preeclampsia occur. Theobromine from cocoa was held responsible for not letting the blood pressure rise in pregnant women which is why they were recommended to eat it.
How do you introduce chocolate in to your diet? Well that’s not most women will find difficult to do. Being pregnant can be your chance at gobbling as much tasty snacks and food in a lifetime. Eating right and also eating yummy around this time is essential. The baby as well as your health is concerned and for the same a little bit of chocolate thrice a week is a must.

Stack your freezer with chocolate ice cream boxes or drink a healthy hot chocolate drink each morning or night. Eat healthy fruit salads by pouring some chocolate on it. If you went around looking for recipes which need chocolate, there are plenty. Make yourself some cupcakes and donuts.

Preeclampsia is not just responsible for high blood pressure but may also cause clotting, convulsions, liver and kidney problems. Even more the reason you should be eating chocolate. We are not sure most pregnant women will have a problem succumbing to this must eat food item (chocolate).

Bitter chocolate like Lindt is even more considered a better option with high content of cocoa. You may not want to eat chocolate every thrice a week but then at least try to eat plenty at once. Cravings are quite the thing during pregnancy. Binge on chocolate treats and find yourself keeping your baby healthy.

It is not bad to put on a little bit of weight by eating chocolate rather than risk of of losing your baby. Eat chocolates often and you know what, your baby will love it too.

How to Ensure Your Pregnancy is Healthy

Your pregnancy will last for nine months but your child may suffer mental and physical issues for his entire life if you take part in dangerous activities during pregnancy. It is imperative that you follow good health practices and eliminate unsafe habits before your child is born. Medical experts offer techniques for ensuring a healthy pregnancy.

Instructions

Start before you plan to get pregnant. This is the optimal way of ensuring your child receives the best shot at life but, unfortunately, it's not always realistic. If you are sexually active, even if you aren't planning a pregnancy, stay healthy by eating right and exercising. In addition, make sure your diet contains lots of folic acid, proven in medical studies to prevent some birth defects.

See your doctor as soon as you suspect you are pregnant. Consistent medical attention during pregnancy results in healthier babies. If you can't afford a doctor and don't have medical insurance, make an appointment at your local public health facility for advice.

Stop smoking, drinking and taking non-prescription drugs during your pregnancy. There is no safe level of smoke or alcohol for your unborn baby. If you have an addiction to alcohol or drugs, it is imperative that you seek medical advice immediately. Babies born to alcoholic or junkie mothers exhibit many mental and physical problems, some lasting their entire lives. Stop now.


Follow a good nutritional diet during your pregnancy. Fresh vegetables, fruits and lean protein sources are important for your baby's development.



Stay fit during your pregnancy and maintain a healthy weight. Your doctor will monitor your weight gain and advise you to stay within certain limits that will allow your baby to develop well and also make it easier for you to regain your pre-pregnancy weight. A daily walk is good, however, before starting any new exercise regime, talk to your doctor.


Maintain a happy attitude. Studies indicate that an unborn baby's heart rate speeds up when his mother experiences stress or fright. Enlist the help of family and friends in maintaining a calm and happy attitude whenever possible.

What Is The Qualities Of A Perfect Life Partner?

For Girls & Boys:

1.understanding
2.Believe
3.Independent
4.Educated
5.New Thoughts with the increase in development
6.Caring
7.Respectable
8.Loving
9.Having Jolly nature
10. Intelligent
11. Very Innocent regarding relations (including life partner or family)
12. Responsible
13. No Bad Habit (if he or she have some bad habit it will be on limit)
14. No Andhvishwash means believe in God
15. Strong by heart, mind or by body
I think, these qualties are enough for a perfect life partner. But it is also true that in that period it will not be possible.
Thats my right to think and i wrote my thinking.
From:
Pooja Saggi

How to Be a Good Husband...

Be a team player. When you were single, you could focus on your needs entirely. Now that you’re in a partnership, that just isn’t going to work. Sometimes you have to think about the family and the marriage before you think about yourself.

Remember that a marriage is a complicated thing. Being a good husband spans a lot of territory. Sure, you need to support your family financially and raise your children with love and concern. These are two of the givens of being a good husband. But these aren’t the only duties of being a good husband.

When you talk about the interpersonal dynamics of a man/wife relationship, a lot of these dynamics involve how we communicate with one another. We send both intentional and unintentional signals to our spouse through our interpersonal communications. So a large part of being a good husband in this context is showing we are a part of the team, supporting our teammate while communicating when we need support in our turn.

In sports parlance, it’s called “being a good teammate” or “being a good locker room presence”.

1. Be Her Sounding Board

When your wife tells you her problems, she isn’t necessarily looking for a problem solver. She wants someone to listen to her and empathize with what’s going on in her life.

A husband who hears about his wife’s problems instinctively wants to come to the rescue. But most of the time, this isn’t what your wife is looking for. You need to fill the role more of a psychologist than that of a troubleshooter. Listen to her problems; show concern for those problems; show that you have empathy; but don’t always reply with “here’s what you need to do.”

When your wife comes to you with her problems, she isn’t looking for you to be her lawyer. And she certainly doesn’t need you to be her football coach, giving her fiery motivational speeches about how to beat her problem. She wants a counsellor, to listen to her problems and help her deal with their emotional impact.

2. Show Respect

A good exercise for every husband is to try to show your wife respect. This dovetails with my previous point, but goes beyond that specific situation.

A major part of showing respect is to avoid the trap of being hyper-critical. Don’t criticize the way your wife dresses, cooks meals, parks the car or walks the dog. You might think you are instructing your wife, but you are actually showing disrespect for the decisions you make.

Actions are just as important as words. Don’t make decisions that normally a married couple makes together. This shows you have no respect for her opinion.

Also, try to avoid certain intonations with your wife, the kind that can be described as “talking down” to her. A woman can pick up on these as well or better than a man can. These tell her you have contempt for whatever is she’s doing, that you are treating her like a child or even your pet. Showing a lack of respect is one of the surest ways to poison a marriage.

3. Avoid Judgment

When you live with someone every day, it’s hard not to build up resentments and overanalyze your partner’s every move. But no one is going to stand up to that level of scrutiny. Try not to sweat the little stuff, because it has a way of becoming big rather quickly. If you judge every action or opinion your wife has, that’s going to come through in your words and actions.

Your wife is different from you. Of course she isn’t going to perceive things the way you do. She’s had different life experiences than you, not the least of which is the general experience of living life as a woman. She won’t always like what you like. She won’t behave like a man does. Apart from sexual needs and having children, that’s one of the reasons men get into a relationship. We feel the need for a woman’s companionship.

4. Don’t Bring Your Own Issues Into the Marriage

As I mentioned earlier, being in a marriage is being part of a team. This means you sometimes have to put your wants or needs second to those of the team.

All of us have emotional baggage. When we marry, we bring that emotional baggage into the marriage. But when your wife comes to you for support, that isn’t the time to open up that emotional baggage. There are times when you can unload this stuff on your wife, but not when she needs your support.

It’s common for a man to internalize all her problems and make them our own. But if you do this, you are losing sight of why she confided in you in the first place. Don’t be selfish when you are supposed to be supportive. I mean, all of us tend to process information through our own filter. But that doesn’t mean our opinions are always useful to the problem.

5. Know When to Make it About You

Of course, it can’t always be about her or the marriage. There are times when your needs should be met. That’s the definition of a give-and-take partnership, which is what a marriage should be about.

Tell her how you feel, but don’t put her in a defensive position. This means you describe to her how something she does affects you without making your feelings accusatory. When you talk about issues in your marriage, tell her about how it affects you instead of what it is about her that bothers you. Good communication is one of the keys of a healthy marriage; good communication requires you to tell her how you are affected.

If your wife does something that hurts you, tell her exactly that you are hurt. Don’t focus on her actions, but on the consequences of those actions. If you simply accuse her of undermining you or being insensitive, it automatically puts her on the defensive. When she’s defensive about her actions, good communication becomes all but impossible.

6. Be Affectionate

I know guys don’t like being cuddly. Being affectionate after sex takes time and it doesn’t make us feel manly, but women need affection sometimes. If you only give them that stuff to get to bed, your wife is going to notice and think it’s insincere.

Of course, this goes beyond the bedroom. If you show your wife spontaneous affection occasionally, it reassures her of the love bond.

7. Be Willing to Get Outside Help

There’s the common joke about men refusing to ask for directions. Men throughout history have needed to be self-sufficient. That’s one of the characteristics which make men successful. When we were out in the wilderness hunting for food, we couldn’t stop at the convenience store to ask where the herd was.

That being said, self-reliance can only take us so far. A smart man has to realise when he can’t do it all himself. One of those cases is the man whose marriage is in trouble. It’s very standard for a man to refuse to go to a marriage counselor.

A man would prefer to buy a map than ask for directions. In the same way, he would rather read how-to guides on how to save his marriage than ask for professional help. In a lot of cases, getting good advice is enough. Modifying our attitudes and the subsequent behaviors those attitudes cause can have profound effects on a failing marriage. But sometimes the problems run deeper. That’s when a man has to give into his wife’s request that they speak to a counselor.

The Trouble Tree

The carpenter I hired to help me restore an old farmhouse had just finished a rough first day on the job. A flat tire made him lose an hour of work, his electric saw quit, and now his ancient pickup truck refused to start. While I drove him home, he sat in stony silence.

On arriving, he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands. When opening the door he underwent an amazing transformation. His tanned face was wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss.

Afterward he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier.

"Oh, that's my trouble tree," he replied." I know I can't help having troubles on the job, but one thing's for sure, troubles don't belong in the house with my wife and the children. So I just hang them on the tree every night when I come home. Then in the morning I pick them up again."

He paused. "Funny thing is," he smiled, "when I come out in the morning to pick 'em up, there ain't nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before."

Self-Appraisal - An Inspiring Story!

A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and pulled it over to the telephone.

He climbed onto the carton so that he could reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in ten-digits (phone numbers).

The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation:

Boy: ‘Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?

Woman: (at the other end of the phone line): ‘I already have someone to cut my lawn.’

Boy: ‘Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now.’

Woman: I’m very satisfied with the person who is presently cutting my lawn.

Boy: (with more perseverance): ‘I’ll even sweep your curb and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of Palm beach, Florida.’

Woman: No, thank you.

With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver.

The store-owner, who was listening to all this, walked over to the boy.

Store Owner: ‘Son... I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job.’

Boy: ‘No thanks’.

Store Owner: But you were really pleading for one.

Boy: No Sir, I was just checking my performance at the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady, I was talking to!'

This is what we call ‘Self Appraisal’ ...

BEAUTIFUL SICILY, ITALY

Italy , officially the Italian Republic (Italian: Repubblica italiana),
is a country located in south-central Europe. To the north it borders France, Switzerland, Austria and Slovenia along the Alps.
To the south it consists of the entirety of the Italian Peninsula, Sicily, Sardinia – the two largest islands in
the Mediterranean Sea – and many other smaller islands. The independent states of San Marino and the Vatican City
are enclaves within Italy, whilst Campione d'Italia is an Italian exclave in Switzerland. The territory of Italy covers
some 301,338 km2 (116,347 sq mi) and is influenced by a temperate seasonal climate. With 60.4 million inhabitants,
it is the sixth most populous country in Europe, and the twenty-third most populous in the world.

Italy's capital, Rome, was for centuries the political centre of Western civilisation as the capital of the Roman Empire.
After its decline, Italy would endure numerous invasions by foreign peoples, from Germanic tribes such as the Lombards and Ostrogoths,
to the Byzantines and later, the Normans, among others. Centuries later, Italy would become the birthplace of the Renaissance,
an immensely fruitful intellectual movement that would prove to
be integral in shaping the subsequent course of European thought.


Through much of its post-Roman history, Italy was fragmented into numerous kingdoms and city-states
(such as the Kingdom of Sardinia, the Kingdom of the Two Sicilies and the Duchy of Milan), but was unified in 1861,
following a tumultuous period in history known as "Il Risorgimento" ("The Resurgence"). In the late 19th century,
through World War I, and to World War II, Italy possessed a colonial empire, which extended its rule to Libya, Eritrea,
Somalia, Ethiopia, Albania, Rhodes, the Dodecanese and a concession in Tianjin, China.