In The E-Mails...: 2010

तीन चीजे कभी छोटी न समझे::
शत्रु,कर्जा,बीमारी|

तीन चीजें किसी की प्रतीक्षा नही करती::
समय,मृत्यु,ग्राहक|

तीन चीजें भाई को भाई का दुश्मन बना देती हैं::
जर,जोरू,जमीन |

तीन चीजें असल उदेश्य से रोकती हैं::
बदचलनी,गुस्सा,लालच |

तीन चीजें कोई नहीं चुरा सकता::
हुनर,चरित्र,विद्या|

तीन व्यक्ति वक्त पर पहचाने जाते हैं::
स्त्री,भाई,और दोस्त|

तीन चीजें निकल कर वापस नहीं आती::
तीर कमान से,बात जुबान से,प्राण शरीर से|

नवजात बच्चे के बारे ज्ञान की बातें...

हर दस में से करीब चार बच्चे किसी जन्मजात निशाँ के साथ दुनिया में आतें हैं|नवजात शिशुयों की घ्राण इन्द्रियां तेज होती हैं|जनम के एक हफ्ते तक वे अपनी माँ को उसकी गंध से पहचान लेते हैं|
हर नवजात शिशु की नाक बंदर की तरह होती है,क्यूंकि तब उसकी नाक की हड्डी विकसित नहीं होती|सभी बच्चो का रंग लालिमा लिए होता है,क्यूंकि उनके खून में लाल रक्त कणिकाएं ज्यादा होती हैं|
बच्चों की नज़र ज्यादा दूर तक नही जाती है|उनकी नज़रें आठ इंच तक ही केन्द्रित हो सकती हैं|इसलिए अगर आप चाहतें हैं की बच्चा आपको साफ़-साफ़ देख सके,तो आपको उसके समीप जाना होगा|
बहुत छोटे बच्चे सीधी रेखाओं वाली आकृतियों की बजाय घुमावदार लाइने देखना पसंद करतें हैं|पुरानी मान्यता के विपरीत,वे वर्णाध नहीं होता,बल्कि उन्हें लाल और नीले जैसे प्राथमिक रंगों को देखना भाता है|

मैं यह जान गयी हूँ की...

अन्दर में सचाई और
बाहर में सफाई,
दोनों ही जरूरी है
एक अच्छी जिंदगी के लिए|

मैं यह जान गयी हूँ की कितना ही बुरा क्यूँ न हुआ हो और आज मन में कितनी ही कड़वाहट क्यूँ न हो,यह जिंदगी चलती रहती है और आने वाला कल खुशगवार होगा|
मैं यह जान गयी हूँ की जिंदगी हमें कभी-कभी एक मौका और देती है|
मैं यह जान गयी हूँ की जिंदगी मैं राह चलते मिल जाने वाली हर चीज़ को उठा लेना मुनासिब नही होता|कभी कभी उन्हें छोड़ देना ही बेहतर होता है|
मैं यह जान गयी हूँ की पैसा बनाना और जिंदगी बनाना एक ही बात नहीं हैं|
मैं यह जान गयी हूँ की जब कभी खुले दिल से कोई फैंसला लेती हूँ तब वह अक्सर सही ही होता है|
मैं यह जान गयी हूँ की मुझे दर्द सहना गवारा है मगर दर्द बन जाना मुझे मंजूर नही|
मैं यह जान गयी हूँ की लोग हमारी कही हुई बात और किये हुए काम भूल जाते हैं पर उससे जुड़े हुए एहसास को कोई भुला नही पता|
मैं यह जान गयी हूँ की बीते दिन,घंटे,मिनट या सेकंड बस बीत चुके हैं|जो गुजर रहें हैं,वो हाथ में हैं|बीते समय का एक पल भी मैं वापिस नही ला सकती,चाहे कितनी भी कोशिश कर लूँ|
मैं यह जान गयी हूँ खुद को पहचानने की कोशिश करने में सोचने से काम नही चलता,राह तलाशकर चलना अहम होता है|
मैं यह जान गयी हूँ की मुझे अभी बहुत कुछ सीखना है|

ग्रहण के समय करने और न करने वाली बातें ...

चन्द्र ग्रहण और सूर्य ग्रहण के समय संयम रख कर जप-ध्यान करने से कई गुना फल होता है|श्रेष्ठ साधक उस समय उपवास पूर्वक ब्राह्मी घृत का स्पर्श करके 'ॐ नमो नारायण'मन्त्र का ८००० जप करने के पश्चात ग्रहण शुद्ध होने पर उस घृत को पी लें|ऐसा करने से वह मेधा (धारण शक्ति )कवित्व शक्ति तथा वाक् सिद्धि प्राप्त कर लेता है|
देवी भगवत में आता है:सूर्य ग्रहण या चन्द्र ग्रहण के समय भोजन करने वाला मनुष्य जितने अन्न के दाने खाता है,उतने वर्षों तक 'अरुन्तुद' नरक में वास करता है|फिर वह उदर रोग से पीड़ित मनुष्य होता है|फिर गुल्म रोगी,काना और दन्त हीनं होता है|अथ:सूर्य ग्रहण में ग्रहण से चार पहर(१२ घंटे)पूर्व और चंदर ग्रहण में तीन पहर(९ घंटे)पूर्व भोजन नहीं करना चाहिए|बूढ़े,बालक और रोगी १.१/२ पहर(४.५ घंटे)पूर्व तक खा सकता हैं|ग्रहण पूरा होने पर सूर्य या चंद्र ,जिसका ग्रहण हो,उसका शुद्ध बिम्ब देख कर भोजन करना चाहिए|
ग्रहण-वेध के पहले जिन पदार्थों में कुश या तुलसी की पतियाँ डाल दी जाती हैं,वे पदार्थ दूषित नही होते|जब की पके हुए अन्न का त्याग करके उसे गाय,कुत्ते को दाल कर नया भोजन बनाना चाहिए|
ग्रहण के स्पर्श के समय स्नान,मध्य के समय होम ,देव-पूजन और श्राद्ध तथा अंत में सचेल (वस्त्र सहित)स्नान करना चाहिए|स्त्रियाँ सर धोये बिना भी स्नान कर सकती है|
ग्रहण काल में स्पर्श किया हुए वस्त्र आदि की शुधि हेतु बाद में उसे धो देना चाहिए तथा स्वयं भी वस्त्र सहित स्नान करना चाहिए|
ग्रहण के समय गायों को घास,पक्षियों को अन्न,जरूरत मंदों को वस्त्र और उनकी आवश्यक वस्तु दान करने से अनेक गुना पुण्य प्राप्त होता है|
ग्रहण के समय कोई भी शुभ या नया काम शुरू नही करना चाहिए |
ग्रहण के समय सोने से रोगी,लघुशंका करने से दरिद्र,मन त्यागने से कीड़ा,स्त्री प्रसंग करने से सूअर ,और उबटन लगाने से व्यक्ति कोढ़ी होता है|
गर्भवती महिला को ग्रहण के समय विशेष सावधान रहना चाहिए|
भगवान् वेद व्यास जी ने परम हितकारी वचन कहें हैं :सामान्य दिन से चंदर ग्रहण में किया गया पुण्य करम(जप,ध्यान,दान आदि)एक लाख गुना और सूर्य ग्रहण दस लाख गुना फलदायी होता है|यदि गंगा-जल पास में हो तो चंदर ग्रहण में एक करोड़ गुना और सूर्य ग्रहण में दस करोड़ गुना फलदायी होता है|
ग्रहण के समय गुरुमंत्र , भगवन्न नाम जप अवश्य करें ,न करने से मन हीनता प्राप्त होती है|

Bhagvat Gita - Profound Profundities !

*Bhagavat Gita** ? *

*19th Chapter*
*
*
Arjun*: Hey Vasudev, how can I do the most heinous and unpardonable act of
forwarding junk mail that I receive, to my friends, relatives and revered
elders?

Krishna: Hey Paartha, at this moment, none of them is your friend or foe,
relative or in-law, young or old and good or evil. You have no escape from
following your Net-Dharma. Make haste to log on and send off the junk mail
to one and all. That is the only Karma expected of you and Dharma you must
follow.*

*Arjun: Hey Murari ! Do not implore me to do something that pricks my
conscience and stirs my soul.

Krishna: O Kunti-Puthra, you are caught in the vicious circle of the Maya.
In this material world, you are committed to no one except to yourself, your
Dharma and your mouse. Junk mails have existed for the last 25 years and
will remain long after you are gone. Rise above the Maya and perform your
bounden duty.

Arjun: Lord Krishna, pray and enlighten me on how junk mail is related to
the Maya.

Krishna: Vatsa, junk mail is the 6th element in the universe ? Aap, Vaayu,
Jal, Agni, Aakaash and Junk Mail. It is at the same time animate and
inanimate, living and dead beat. It overloads the system and fills up the
hard disk. But it serves one great purpose. It leads people to believe that
they are filling their time in an intellectual pursuit by reading and
reforwarding junk mail. It gives them a sense of achievement without
investing their intellect and efforts. Like the Atman that leaves one's
physical body and moves on to another, the junk mail moves from system to
system and never gets deleted or dies.

Arjun: Great Giridhaari, kindly tell me what the true attributes of junk
mail are.

Krishna: Neither fire can burn it, nor air can evaporate it. Neither can it
be conquered nor can it be defeated. Junk mail is omnipresent and immortal
like your noble and eternal soul. Unlike an arrow shot from your bow, many a
time the junk mail forwarded by you, will even return to you safely after
some months or even years, allowing you to re-re-forward it to the same
people.

Arjun: Great Saarathi, my salutations to you. You have opened my eyes to the
cult of junk mail. I was lost in the Maya and have been reading all the junk
mail that I keep receiving and doing no other Karma. Now on, I will just
press the "Forward" button without reading any of it and send it to all and
sundry, friends and foes, relatives and in-laws, young and old. That will
surely bring them to their knees in this epochal battle of Good against
Evil, in the Kurukshetra. *
*
Krishna: Arjuna, victory or defeat is not in your hands. Do not ponder over
the fruits of your labour. Just keep forwarding junk mail and make one and
all go bananas reading it and you will have done your supreme duty.
Tathastu.*
'
Thus Spoke
*Lord Krishna*

CORPORATE LESSONS

CORPORATE LESSON # 1

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is
finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After
a few seconds of arguing over which
one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives
up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs
downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next
door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll
give you $ 800 just to drop that towel that you have
on". After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her
towel and stands naked in front of Bob. Bob has a
close look at her for a few seconds, hands over $800
and quietly leaves. Confused, but excited about her
good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and
goes upstairs.

When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks
from the shower "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next
door neighbour," she replies. "Great," the husband
says, "did he say anything about the $! 800 he owes
me?"
MORAL OF THE STORY: Share critical credit information
with your stakeholders to prevent avoidable exposure!

CORPORATE LESSON # 2

A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side
of the road, he stopped and offered her a lift which
she gladly accepted. She got in and crossed her legs,
forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg.

The priest had a look and nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand
up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately
said, "Father, remember psalm 9?" The priest was
flustered and apologised profusely. He forced himself
to remove his hand. However,
he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg.

Further on, while changing gear, he let his hand slide
up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father,
remember psalm 129?" Once again
the priest apologised. "Sorry sister, but the mind is
weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun got out, gave
him a meaningful glance and went on her way. On his
arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a
bible and looked up psalm 9. It Said, "Go forth and
seek; further up, you will find glory."

MORAL OF THE STORY: Always be well informed in your
job; or, you might miss great opportunities!

CORPORATE LESSON # 3

A young executive was leaving the office at 6 PM
when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder
with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the
CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document
and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing
work?" Certainly, Sir"said the young executive. He
turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed
the start button. "Excellent, excellent!"
said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the
machine. "I just need one copy."

MORAL OF THE STORY: Never, never assume that your BOSS
knows everything.

CORPORATE LESSON # 4

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an
American and a French, who found this small genie
bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appears.

Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the
bottle, he said, "Next to you! all are 4 swimming
pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run
towards the pool and jump, you shout What you want the
pool of water to become, then your wish will come
true." The French wanted to start. He ran towards the
pool, jumped and shouted WINE". The pool immediately
changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so
happy swimming and drinking from the pool. Next is the Russian's turn,
he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool
of vodka. The American was next and he jumped and
shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer
pool. The last is the German. He was running
towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana
peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted,
"SHIT!!!!!!!........."

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Mind your language, you never know what it will land
you in.

CORPORATE LESSON #5

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are
on their way to a meeting. On their way through a
park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the
lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says,"Normally,
one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I
will allow one wish each" So the eager senior manager
shouted, I want the first wish. I want to be in the
Bahamas ,on a fast boat and have no worries. "Pfufffff,
and he was
gone. Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and
shouted " I want to be in Florida with beautiful
girls, plenty of food and cocktails. "Pfufffff, and
he was also gone. The boss calmly said, " I want these
two idiots back in the office after
lunch ". Moral of the story is : "Always allow the
bosses to speak first"

CORPORATE LESSON #6

A little mouse living on a farm was looking
through a crack in the wall one day and
saw the farmer and his wife opening a
package. The mouse was intrigued by what
food the package may contain. He was aghast
to discover that it was a mouse trap.

The mouse ran to the farmyard warning
everyone "there is a mouse trap in the
house, there is a mouse trap in the house."

The chicken raised his head and said "Mr.
Mouse, I can tell you this trap is a grave
concern to you, but it has no consequence
to me and I cannot be bothered with it."
The mouse turned to the pig "I am so very
sorry Mr. Mouse, but the trap is no concern
of mine either."

The mouse then turned to the bull,
"sounds like you have a problem Mr. Mouse,
but not one that concerns me."

The mouse returned to the house, head
down and dejected that no one would help
him or was concerned about his dilemma.
He knew he had to face the trap on his own.

That night the sound of a trap catching
its prey was heard throughout the house.
The farmer's wife rushed to see what was
caught. In the darkness she could not see
that it was a venomous snake who's tail the
trap had caught.

The snake bit the farmers wife.
The wife caught a bad fever and the
farmer knew the best way to treat a fever
was with chicken soup. The farmer took
his hatchet to the farmyard to get the
soups main ingredient.

The wife got sicker and friends and
neighbors came by to take turns sitting
with her round the clock. The farmer
knew he had to feed them, so he butchered
the pig. The farmer wife did not get
better, in fact she died and so many
friends and family came to her funeral
that the farmer had to slaughter the bull
to feed all of them.

Moral of the Story: "So the next time we
hear that one of our teammates is facing a
problem and think it does not concern or
effect us, let us remember that when anyone
of us is in trouble, we are all at risk. "

Married life enjoy!

Take a BREAK... ENJOY THE JOKE!!

* They say that marriage makes a man dizzy, and it's true. As soon as I got a wife, I lost my balance at the bank.

* Men want 3 qualities in wives: Economist in kitchen, artist in home & devil in bed. But they get artist in kitchen, devil in home & economist in Bed.

* Q: Why do women live longer than men?
Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!

* Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I luv u.
* After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue.. U r my headache, one day I'll kill u.
* Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married..
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.

* Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!