Many parents and doctors will tell you to just leave your baby alone when they are crying. The philosophy is that if no one comes to help the baby, they will learn to “self soothe”. The truth is small babies don’t have the emotional capabilities to self soothe. Yes, the baby will stop crying eventually, but only because it feels it has been abandoned and has given up on seeking help. A baby who isn’t comforted when they cry believes their parents no longer care. This can destroy the parental bond and the child’s self esteem. Letting a baby “cry it out” may not always be the best option.
On the other hand, your psychological health matters too. There’s bound to be the occasional time that you can’t take it anymore and no one is around to help you. If you feel you’ve reached your breaking point, it’s all right to take a break from your child for a few minutes while you regroup. If your child knows you’re coming back eventually, they will be less likely to feel abandoned.
The best way to learn to soothe your crying baby is to get to know them. Most of the time, the child is crying because something is wrong; they’re hungry, tired, grumpy, sick, bored, or have one of a multitude of other needs, and every one of these problems has a different cry. If you spend time with your baby and listen carefully, you should be able to distinguish one cry from another. You should for other cues such as facial expressions and body language. The sooner you learn to interpret your child’s crying, the sooner you’ll be able to satisfy their needs.
Sometimes, babies don’t really have anything wrong with them and are just plain upset. Here are a few suggestions for calming a fussy baby:
* Play music. Many babies may also be soother by you singing to them or to simple white noise.
* Use Lavender. It is known to have natural calming properties; you could put it in their bath, bedroom, laundry, or almost anywhere that the soothing vapors will be able to comfort them.
* Use the 5 S’s. Swaddling, laying the baby on its Side or Stomach (supervised), Shhing, Swinging them in a mechanical swing or your arms, and offering a breast or pacifier to Suck on will trigger the baby’s natural calming reflex and help them relax.
* Distract them. Try to offer him his favorite toy or make quiet baby talk. You may be able to get him to forget he was upset in the first place.
* Give your baby a massage. A massage can be just as relaxing for your baby as it is for you. Be very gentle with your touch.
If you’ve tried these and other remedies, but your baby still won’t stop crying, you should take them to the pediatrician, just in case. They may have something simple (but annoying), like colic, but it’s best to be sure that it’s not something more serious.
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